Everybody Struggles...

It’s hard not to struggle with self-esteem when you’ve been unemployed for two years, and your job applications have been met with rejections and silence. You start questioning whether you’re good enough, whether that last job you landed was just pure luck, and if you’re ever going to get another.

The Weight of the Past

It takes you back ten years to when you messed up your chance at college—a failure and regret you’ve never really gotten over. Then you see the job requirements: a minimum bachelor's degree in computer science or a related field, and at least three years of professional experience in X programming language and Y framework. It feels like a lost battle from the beginning.

You put your life on hold. You tell yourself that once you get your next job, you'll start feeling good about yourself again. You forget that you lost yourself in your last job.

A New Path with Outreachy

Then you start applying for an internship at Outreachy. Instead of facing strict qualifications, you get the chance to make meaningful contributions. You work on real problems that give you a sense of accomplishment. You find a supportive community that makes you feel like you're part of something again.

But then you fall into a self-made trap: thinking that once you’re an Outreachy intern, you’ll feel good about yourself again.

The Shadow of Imposter Syndrome

You get what you wanted. How does it make you feel? Undeserving. Imposter syndrome creeps in. How long will you be able to fake it? Something is going to go wrong anytime now. It hasn't happened yet, but you still feel like it will.

Even when your mentor tells you that you’ve been asking the right questions—that your struggle with a specific task is to be expected—the doubt remains. That’s when you realize you’ve been linking your self-worth to the wrong things. No external achievement will ever fix this for you. You can’t expect to find a solution outside for a problem you created inside.

Finding Quiet in the Work

So you begin to be kinder to yourself. Low self-esteem isn’t something you can magically get rid of overnight. But you learn to focus on what you can control, one small step at a time, one task at a time.

Despite the nagging voice, you know you enjoy this—breaking down tasks and finding solutions. You focus on a problem until the outside world fades away and the voices go quiet. You realize you don’t have to make this your identity; it’s something you do because you enjoy it. You start focusing on the present and try not to worry too much about the future.

Acceptance

Maybe it’s not about pretending to have everything figured out. Maybe it’s about accepting your flaws and realizing you’re supported regardless.